Strašljivo Dihjemajoče Edinstveno Neponovljivo

Komaj smo dobro zakorakali v letošnje leto pa se me že loteva občutek, da 2009 ne bo kar tako. Seveda, tudi 2008 ni bilo. Pa 2007 ravno tako in 2006. A 2009 se bo zgodilo prvič ... in zadnjič seveda. Ne vem kaj me bolj straši. To, da je vsak dan, ki mine, preteklost, ali to, da mi vsak dan, ki prihaja, lahko nudi prav vse kar si želim. Popolnost je strašljiva. Ker napoveduje čas, ko se zavem, da sem v nekem trenutku imela vse, a je minilo. In se potem vrnilo. Drugače, edinstveno in, kot vedno, dihjemajoče. In potem, se vse skupaj lahko zopet ponovi. Trenutki, ko se bodo sanje za hip razblinile, bodo še prišli, a jim bo vedno sledilo obdobje, ko se bo hišica iz kart ponovno postavljala in na koncu sestavila. S še več asi na kupu!

Načeloma nerada delam načrte, ki segajo predaleč, a v tem trenutku v moji glavi nastaja seznam stvari, ki jih v 2009 moram narediti. V življenju sem, kljub vsem 'sankcijam', 'družbenim asimilacijam' in vsakodnevnem trudu, še vedno bolj kot ne neprilagojena povprečnemu, a po 27 letih sem se naučila, da se s tem ne obremenjujem več. Ko nekaj hočem then I go for it. With every little piece of my being. It usually pays off. Soooo, here's a little list of things I need to get done this year:

1. Love unconditionally again, without fear of getting hurt. (After all, love is still my biggest muse and I am still it's biggest fan.)

2. Get a tatoo. (One or two or three. There are some things I want to carry around on my skin ... I've been thinking about it for too long, it's time to take some actions!)

3. See all the european capitols/or other big cities worth to see, I haven't seen so far. ( Milano 1st, then Paris and Barcelona - collecting voulenteers to join me on this unpredictable trip :-))

4. Have the summer of my life - again! ( I am aware that after 2 months in greek paradise, it will be hard to find something that will beat that, but I am notoriouslly optimistic so bring it on!)

5. Finish my book. (Ok, this is a tough one too. Specially with all the things I do in my life ... But I need a little kick to get more disciplined in writing. I am starting posting chapters on my blog from next week on ...)

6. Tell my friends and family I love them, every day. (Never get enough of this ... What would I do without my angels ...)

7. Move on my own. ( Yaaaaay, almost done :-) Few things here and there and I'm finally moved out of my parent's house. Better late than never :-))

8. Dream. (Always. Bigger. Without limits.)

9. Laugh and Kiss. (Love it love it love it :-), without warnings, second thoughts, regrets ... )

10. Take chances. (Theres nothing worse than realizing, you missed something good, because you were too afraid to give it a try... Not my style. I risk, I hurt, I learn, I laugh about it, I cherish it, I move one, I fall again ...)

Lepo je, ko se leto začne z mravljinci v trebuhu, še lepše je, ko le ti postanejo stalni prebivalci našega drobovja in nas opominjajo na to, da si moramo kljub razočaranjem v preteklosti, dovoliti biti srečni. Ker si to zaslužimo. In ker si pravico do sreče, lahko vzamemo le sami. Ah ja, 2009 Shia is a little sensitive last few days :-) Don't worry it's for all good reasons ...