Kako bom vedela? Kako bom vedela, kdaj sem pripravljena iti naprej. Kako bom vedela, kdaj se lahko nekomu spet prepustim, kot sem se Njej? Kdaj bom lahko iskreno izrekla tiste tri besede in jih čutila z vsakim zadržanim vdihom. Kako bom vedela, da tokrat ne bom prizadeta? Kako bom spet zaupala, brezpogojno verjela besedam, slepo sledila srcu, trdno držala roko, ki me boža? Kako bom vedela, da me taista roka nekega dne ne bo udarila ... Udarila tam, kjer najbolj boli. V krhko srž neskončno zaljubljenega človeka.
Kako veš, da si v redu? Kako veš, kdaj se za nasmehom ne skriva več globoka žalost, ki si jo tako želiš zatajiti. Koliko časa moraš nekaj ignorirati, da enostavno mine ... Kdaj nehaš bežati pred ljudmi, ki te imajo radi. Koliko časa ne dviguješ telefonov, ker je enostavno pretežko priznati, da so se iskre v tvojih očeh danes utapljale v solzah? Kako to razložiti, ne da bi s tem koga prizadel ... Kako jim pomagati, da svet vidijo s tvojimi očmi in da spoznajo, da če še vedno kdaj jokam za Njo, ne pomeni, da se ne smejem zaradi njih.
Kako bom vedela? Ko se bom lahko ozrla nazaj in se spomnila le lepih stvari? Ko bom sprejela dejstvo, da včasih dobimo mnogo manj, kot si zaslužimo? Ko bom dojela, da sem sicer bila izdana, a da me je to le naredilo močnejšo in mi odprlo mnogo drugih vrat, ki le čakajo, da stopim skoznje.
Kdaj bom vedela, da sem s tem opravila? Ko si bom priznala, da potrebujem čas. In pustila ljudem, da me imajo radi in jih imela v enaki meri rada nazaj. Brez strahu, da se bo jutri začel tako kot se je končal včeraj ...
5 komentarjev:
oh waw shia.
:(
sounds like you've been hurt...i don't like that.
if i could help, believe me, i'd love to...but all i can give you are words. hope that counts? hold on, be strong...time heals everything. =*
It's strange that in life, we are our own worst judges. We behave as if being hurt and weak is socially the most unacceptable thing. Once we realize it's okay to be hurt and it's okay to take as much time as we want to heal the wounds, things start getting better. After all the only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once, and as well time heals what reason cannot. Fix yourself, all that matters is that you are completely fixed, so you can endure the long path that you still have to take and be happy (not all the time, but every day) while taking it, the amount of time needed for that is irrelevant. People who love you are always there, even if you don't answer or call back for months. Everyone has their own way of healing. I am sure you will fix yourself, and once you're fixed - you'll be better than ever!
p.s. To be able to move on, one has to learn to forgive not only the person who have done one wrong, but also oneself.
@ laura: it happend a while ago but it's still around I guess. I'm fine actually ... :-) With few weak moments here and there! Hvala za tolažbo in verjemi mi, da mi blog pri 'zdravljenju' močno pomaga, predvsem tudi zaradi mojih bralcev :-)
@ anonimni: working on all of it :-) thank you for taking time and writing down this comment ;-)
:-) u are okie... just ask me... spet bo treba stopit v neznano, ker veš, da brez tega ne moreš... nikamor se ne mudi...
love ya...
In vsakič znova, ko si izgubil nekaj kar ljubiš (vsaj tako misli naš ego), je le en korak več k sebi, k popolni brezpogojni ljubezni, k vedenju, da ničesar ne izgubiš. Ko dojameš, da obstaja brezpogojna ljubezen v tebi, takrat veš, da si le zalutal (v bolečino, strah). Ljubezen je brezpogojna. Čas, bolečina pa učitelji, da jo lahko najdemo! Vem kako ti je...in vem, da jo boš našla..ljubezen. mwwwwa :)
Objavite komentar