ponedeljek, 29. september 2014

Hello, My Name Is Fear


When I was 5, I thought the worst thing in life is when your mom says no to chocolate before dinner.
When I was 12, I thought the worst thing in life is when you don't get Game Boy for Christmas. 
When I was 15 I thought the worst thing in life is when a zit appears on your face right before your birthday party. 
When I was 22, I thought the worst thing in life is not being able to digest the backstage aspects of showbusiness and follow my music dreams.
When I was 28, I thought the worst thing in life is, when you get disappointed by someone you deeply love.
Today I am 32 and I know that the worst thing in life is to live by fear.

As someone who loves to travel, I missed so many opportunities to experience new cultures because of my FEAR of traveling alone.
As someone who loves to sing, I missed a lot of joy, standing on a stage preforming my songs, because of my FEAR of judgement.
As someone who loves to write, I missed so much happiness, presenting my work but forgeting to truly enjoy it, because of my FEAR of failure.
As someone who loves to watch movies, I missed so many cinema dates, because of my FEAR of anxiety attack.
As someone who loves the sunsets, I missed them too many times, because of my FEAR of not meeting deadlines at work.
As someone who loves the ocean, I am not seeing it enough, because of my FEAR of loosing my income if I take proper holidays.
As someone who loves to watch shooting stars, I have not spend enough nights looking at the sky, because of my FEAR of staying up too late and overhearing alarm in the morning.
As someone who loves her parents more than anything, I am spending too much time on worrying about them, instead of enjoying precious time with them, because of my FEAR of loosing them.
As someone who loves to love, I built too many walls hiding my true self, because of my FEAR of people not liking me.
As someone who wrote a book about happiness, I am missing too much of it while focusing on my weaknesses instead of strenghts. Because of my FEAR that I won't be perfect.


Letting go is my biggest life lesson so far. It's not always cotton candy  and unicorns flying above the rainbow, but I know I want to do it. Because life is too short to spend even one minute per day being afraid of something that did not even happen. Life is now. And hopefully soon I will not only be able to say it, but also live it.


ponedeljek, 28. julij 2014

OGLEDALO LJUBEZNI - INZEBUJL OLADELGO


Sovraži me.
Sovraži me, da boš za trenutek pozabila,
kako sovražiš samo sebe.
(Ljubi me.)

Žali me.
Žali me, utopi me v ostrih besedah,
da bi sama za trenutek izplavala iz svojega gneva.
(Spoštuj me.)

Pljuni vame.
Pljuvaj dokler ti ne zmanjka kopij,
ki prebadajo tvoje ranjeno srce.
(Ceni me.)

Brcaj me.
Brcaj me, dokler tvoje noge ne bodo preveč utrujene,
da bi hodile po tvojih sanjah.
(Pobožaj me.)

Dvomi vame.
Dvomi vame, da ti ne raznese srca,
od vse nepravičnosti, ki je izklesala tvojo žalostno podobo.
(Zaupaj mi.)

Potolči me.
Zabij me v dno svojega razmajanega upanja,
Da ti bom delala družbo tam, kjer sonce ne sije.
(Navdihni me.)

Zlomi me.
Vrzi me ob steno, da se razmažem
v groteskno sliko tvoje negotovosti.
(Opazi me.)

Raztrgaj me.
Zapiči vame svoje ostre zobe
in jih razrahljaj na moji ponižnosti.
(Objemi me.)

Zaduši me.
Izpij iz mene zadnje atome kisika,
da boš lahko končno globoko vdihnila in šla naprej.
(Dihaj z mano.)

Poglej me. Globoko.
Oprosti, da sem tvoje OGLEDALO.




Utop.i.ja.

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